Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
