i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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