That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
