Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
