i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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