I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
