You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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