can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
