We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
