So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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