I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
