I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
