she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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