I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
