hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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