just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
