she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is classic penis vs brain.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
