I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
