the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
