I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize