u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
