Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
