First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my poor anus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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