Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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