dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
