i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
