Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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