If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
