My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They took my balls.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
