No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
