You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
