Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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