if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
