I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
