i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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