When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
