i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How does one acquire holy water?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
