Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
