wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My feet surprised me
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