So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
