Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
