she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need to align my fucking chakras
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
