come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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