C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
