btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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