I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
