What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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