So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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