The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
