I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
