What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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