where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
