he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
