is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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