Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize