im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
