im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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