I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
