I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
