enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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