What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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