Are we in a gay sports bar?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
