You're my little dorito
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
