my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
